Fun in the Sun

Hello,

Well if any of you were wondering why I have not written in a while, it is simply because I have been very busy. The Army has been keeping us all busy. I don’t know if our current operation has made it into the news or not. The operation we have been working on is called operation 5770 Kelvin. This operation basically involved moving the entire country of Iraq onto the surface of the Sun. At least, I hope that is what has happened, because it is getting way too hot for this to still be considered planet Earth. So either we moved to the Sun or the Sun is falling out of its orbit around the Earth, and is heading straight for me. Either way, it is getting ridiculously hot. The average high temperature now ranges from 105 – 115 degrees Fahrenheit. But not to worry there is plenty of sand here, so when the occasional hot desert wind comes your way; it is most often accompanied with dust, and lots of it. This is not the dust you find in America either. This is dust that can only be found here. It is very fine, so it gets in everything, and is very hard to control and makes it impossible to keep anything clean. Oh the joys of life in the cradle of civilization.

Well other than the heat and the dust everything else is going along swimmingly. I have been accidentally promoted to Captain. I thought the Army would have figured it out by now, it has been 13 whole days, but there is still no word. So maybe they did mean to promote me. I had decided that in honor of my favorite Military Leader I would not use the traditional title for Captains, that being CPT. I would instead follow the example of one of the most fearless leaders of all time and use instead CAP’N, in honor of CAP’N Crunch. The man who valiantly fights the war against the Soggies in millions of homes, around the world, every day, and in places like Humboldt, CA sometimes five or six times a day, for the same person. I tried but was overruled. I also CAP, CTN and C3PO. None of these seemed like valid options to the Army, so I am stuck with CPT. I guess I will just have to get used to it.

It does kind of have a Superhero ring to it. However, two named Superhero were never as good as the one named Superhero. I mean Spiderman is way cooler than Green Lantern. Superman is better than Sliver Surfer. Batman is better than Captain America. See what I mean. If I were to choose my own Superhero name it would not have been Captain Meehl. I always thought I would use something like Freezerman. You know that Superhero who could control the weather, at least then I wouldn’t have to ensure I wasn’t carry any metal coins in my pocket every time I go outside, for fear that the intense heat will cause them to burst into flames, and severely damage my crotchal region.

Have a nice day.

V/R,
S. Robert Meehl
CPT, MI
3 BDE Projects Cell
Matthew 16:15