The War within a War.

There are two wars going on here in Iraq. One is the war that you see in the newspapers and on TV. The other is one that most people are not willing to speak about. For this second, little known and very seldom acknowledged, war is not the thing the American Government wants you to know about. This war is one that exists here inside the walls of this highly fortified and well protected compound. This secret war is one that divides the people who call this place home. This secret war is something that has the potential to break apart the coalition that exists here inside these walls. This war causes many Americans to lose heart, and is beginning to break us all. This war is volleyball.

There are several, very small men from Nepal here on the compound. These men although very small in stature, are virtual giants on the volleyball court. I think volleyball is the national sport of Nepal, and if it isn’t then they need to rethink their national sport, because they are freakin’ good at it. Watching them play is like watching Jordan shoot a fall-away jumper. These men have formed a team. That team of rag-tag volleyball warriors average 5’5” in height. They play against the Americans here almost nightly, and manage to wipe the court with us. We Americans, who as a team average 6’0”, don’t stand a chance. It has become an obsession, of sorts, for many here. But alas, we continue to lose. Spirits are high, and so is morale, but we can sense to defeat as soon as the first spike is unleashed from the side of those tiny volleyball gods. Average scores look like this: Nepal 15, America 6. Man we suck. Occasionally we sneak in a victory, but usually when they are kind enough not to destroy us, we overdo the celebration. We proceed to chant, parade and dance, like any good American would, we rub it in. This celebration is always short lived, for they tire of our gloating very quickly and then defeat so overwhelmingly that all we can do is stand there and watch. It is very humbling.

However, being the good Americans that we are, we always ensure to end every game with the traditional little league inspired, “Good Game” hand-shake line. And then, just like the true Americans we are, we start to blame each other. Volleyball is the most depressing sport God ever put on planet.